Announcer: [in big, SNL-style voice] And now it’s time for REALLY! With Mike and Katie. Mike is Mike Sessler, a highly opinionated Tech Director; Katie is his not so technical teenage daughter. Together, they point out the ill-designed stuff that drives us all mad. And now, REALLY!
Mike: Thank you, thank you…
Katie: [giggles]
Mike: Speaking of wireless mics… Sennheiser, who was the bean counter that decided that you could save 6 cents and skip a tri-color LED on the 5012 transmitter.
Katie: Really!
Mike: Let me get this straight. You have a single red LED that can mean Power On, Good Battery and Low Battery. One color, three possible options. I mean really!
Katie: Really!
Mike: Seriously, I just paid $3,000 for the little bugger; I’d pay another $100 for some useful information. You couldn’t have at least included it in the telemetry? So I could see if my battery was about to die? Really?
Katie: Really!
Mike: I mean, come on. A $400 Shure SLX system will send battery life back to the receiver. Was saving that last 6 cents that important?
Katie: Really! And how about that HC3424?
Mike: Uh, yeah… And Yamaha–riddle me this: Why is it that the $20,000 M7 has the ability to pair channels odd to even, even to odd, or pretty much any channel to any channel, yet the $65K “Professional, Tour Grade” PM5D cannot? I mean really!
Katie: Really!
Mike: What would it take, 8 lines of code to make that happen? Is it too much to ask, or are all your engineers tied up euthanizing the PM1D?
Katie: Really! [aside] Wait, doesn’t euthanizing mean killing?
Mike: Uh, yeah… I mean, I get the concept of product line differentiation, but when your lower cost consoles have some pretty darn useful features that the really expensive ones don’t well, we start asking questions.
Katie: Really! Hard questions! Like, who decided that the best way to get to the tech booth was to go out the auditorium main doors, through the lobby, up two flights of stairs, back through the 2nd floor lobby, through the balcony and finally into the tech booth! Really! [aside] How’d I do?
Mike: [to Katie] Good sweetie. [to audience] Really! Did you ever actually take the time to walk that trip in your head, or better yet in person when you designed it? Or do you think all techies are fat and lazy and can use the exercise?
Katie: Really! I mean, just because techies work long hours in the dark, don’t exercise and live on a steady diet of pizza and take out doesn’t mean you need to make them walk that much.
Mike: Uh, really. Anyway, how about thinking it through next time, OK buddy? Maybe in your perfect world people never have to get up from their desks. But in my world, it’s 20-30 trips a day from FOH to stage. And I ‘m not sure how much longer my knees can take it. Really!
Katie: Really?
Mike: REALLY!
Katie: REALLY!
Announcer: This has been REALLY! With Mike and Katie. And now back to our regularly scheduled programming. Really.
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Brilliant work! I laughed. I cried. You had me at “Really?”
And the winner of the best blog-u-mentary goes to Mike Sessler!
Really!
Love it. Really.
Sounds like you need a rope ladder to climb down quickly, I’ve often thought the same thing about my churches sound room (also in the balcony)
More. Please. More.
Nice one Mike. Some really (sic) great technical points, and fun to read all at the same time.
Actually, I’ve been lobbying for a zip line…